Review and photos – Pat Dinizio at the Studome, Feb 7 and Times Change(d), Feb 8 2009

– text by eugene osudar/photos by Mike Latschislaw

Dec. 14, 2017–We were saddened to hear of the passing of Pat Dinizio, leader of the ’80s rock band The Smithereens. Dinizio passed away Dec. 12. This review dates back to 2009, when Dinizio played a house party and bar in Winnipeg. 

tell me a story

pat d

once there was this jersey
band called the smithereens
oh, but then again, there still
is
this band \called the smithereens
and they’ve released
8 cds in the past 3 years

2 beatles covers cds
a christmas cd
a buddy holly tribute cd
“i’m the only guy on the planet
of six billion people who released
a buddy holly cd. i mean
don’t we care?”

guess not.
paul mccartney cares,
$ka/ching$
he own$ the songs.

that’s 4 cds.
a live smithereens cd.
and a tommy cd/
the who, stripped of
the crap songs.

and i guess that leaves two studio
smithereens cds.

they began in the 80s
and somehow/someway
(like marshall crenshaw)

pat dinizio had the gift

of his inspirations\
the dream melodies
two chords
three chords
thought/
ful/
ly/
craf
ted
words

just like
buddy holly
paul mccartney
the beatles

so did it really begin the day the music died?

oh, there’s that other hero/
ozzy osbourne
(huh!)
the bad boy hero
put it on the flip side

just tell me the story
about ozzy

“the rotten bastard.”

you see, pat’s high school hosted
amazing concerts
like the small faces
(oh rod stewart)
cream
the eagles
chicago
and sabbath
just to name a few

pat d was 15 in february 1970
totally into the oz
pat’s best friend was an instigator
you know the kind
the kind your parents warn you
about but that only makes
you
cling to them that much harder
rebel(lion!)s
piss off mum/piss off dad!

so the instigator says, “go on pat
tell him
oz is your hero”
so pat d goes up to ozzy oh
he stammers,
“uuuuuh/mmm, are you going to play
wicked world?”

and ozzy is all of 21
“he looked 100, even then.”
and he sizes up the 15 year old pat d
and he says in that voice,
“no i’m not going to fucking play
wicked world!”

and we the gathered
smithereens fans
sunday night
at the times changed
high and lonesome
laugh, cuz pat’s mugging
laughing too, he adds,

“i vowed i would never shit on anyone
who came to a show of mine.”

so if you vowed
this pat d
then why did you
go off
on your host of
(stu reid)
the house concert
the night before
the studome/so called
by stuthe
about his “cheap PA.”

you murdered the vibe
the stories
hilarious
the songs just fine

up until that moment
near the end of the first set
you had us
you had me
smiling
laughing
death or glory
that’s the story
you were glory
i’m sure you were sorry
just after the words poured
out
frothed away from your lips
spittle tips

you had just driven 10 hours
from the place where the music
died
a tribute to buddy and richie and
the big bopper

the weather was just like it was
that night
you told us
they had no business
flying that night
they died because they were
young
and stupid
yeah. the indestructiblity
of youth.
you can’t die. when
you’re
21
17
28
14
yeah we die
and we rock and
we can dance if we want to
(men without hats)

it’s safe to dance!

these are the stories
and i’ll stick it
to
you

packed living room,
i’m two feet from pat dinizio
and he’s immense
his fingers are twice
the size of my fingers
thumpy lumps of flesh balls
how does he play guitar
how do those fingers
get along with
get around the width
of the fret/board
those thin strings

“my ex wife, she said to me
when the success was happening
‘pat, you’re the only person
i know who gains weight on
cocaine.'”

story after story

“i tried this diet, maple syrup
and just liquid
and yeah, i gained weight.”

only a memory
the first song of the night

“the first time we played
winnipeg
1986
there was a money back guarantee
you could leave after the first 4 songs
and get your money back
our bass player mike
was livid”

and stu reid and my buddy mike
(who took the pics you see
in this posting) were there
that night in 1986
and they’re laughing
we’re all laughing
the packed living room
cuz mike the bass player was livid
a money back guarantee!!!!
the album hadn’t been released
in canada
despite the lies their record company
enigma
told them
“oh, your record’s breaking big in
canada!”
and they’re playing club
soda in montreal to ten people
and getting horribly drunk
and pulling small/time
pranks
like removing the club’s wall clock
and replacing it
with
a pie plate and drawn on
hands and numbers

not like led zep who routinely
threw tvs from upper
floor
balconies and rode
motorcycles
up and down hallways
but then the zep was huge then
and the smithereens
weren’t
until

that night
in new york city
one of those magic nights
at folk city
being schooled
by dave van ronk
the guy who dylan watched
the man who schooled bob dylan
“i got f=drunk
my girlfriend jan warned me
not to
it’s 5 AM
my ass is grass
i’m crispy to say the least.
it’s a rainy february
i’m walking and there’s
a bass line that happens
‘god please get me home’
and i get inside and sing
the bass line
to blood and roses
the first big song
for enigma
into a cassette recorder

“i love cassettes.

“you see there was this film guy’s
wife
and she found my cassette
among her guy’s fast food
hamburgers

“we buried the song
on side two
third song
see, you’re supposed to put
the best songs first
on each side
of a record

“that’s vinyl
always the first songs
each side
were the killers!

and she found
the song
‘i love the smithereens,
where have you been?'”
was the question
on the other end of the line

and what followed
was gold record after
gold record and
after the gold rush
(neil young)
there were stories

lou reed.
“yeah lou played a couple of leads
on a couple of songs
on our 5th album
a date with the smithereens
lou’s a strange guy
but it’s like when my wife and i split
i called lou
tell him we’re leaving
for chicago
see liza was two months old
and we took liza to lou’s place
a doorman place
in a black baby carriage
and my crazy mom too

“and the doorman lets me in
cuz he knows i know lou
and so we ride the elevator
and decide to play a joke on lou
we get to his door
and ring the bell
and run away
leaving liza in the carriage
outside
lou reed’s opening door,”

lou’s nasally voice,

“oh no, nonononono!
help me, help me! God no!”
that’s lou reed having a meltdown
baby!

pat d played his fave buddy holly
song
well alright
both nights
there’s an elvis costello
quality to his singing

on the second night
he adds a brilliant
it doesn’t matter anymore

and later, maria elena
a song he wrote for
buddy’s widow
do you get the picture
pat d Loves buddy holly

he tells us about his grown
up daughter liza
in a private school
emailing daddy pat d
“dude (not daddy)
(not daddy i love you
not daddy i miss you),
can you get me some movies?
troll part two
silent night deadly night part two.
what were the originals like?”

and performs the song he wrote for her

she’s got a way all of her own
from 1999’s god save
the smithereens
great album titles pat d!

she was young and he would perform
that song for her
he wanted her to know that
daddy wasn’t a fuck/up
a hic/cup or pimple
on the arsehole of civi(Liza)tion
and she would be bored
in the audience
pointing to her watch
gesturing with her thumb
let’s go! home! now!

belinda carlisle’s
ass
oh that story
involved the captain
of the captain and tennille

“our third capitol records
album was called
smithereens
11 (eleven)
now that’s jersey humor

“now you know why the boss
tea/bagged america
during his knee slide
now that’s the super bowl
bruce’s crotch
up close and personal
eat that america!

“so. i’m knocking on the door
to the record studio
forever
i’ve got gold records!
and i can’t get in
woodland hills
the desert
where guns n roses did their album
and tom petty did full moon fever
it had this nautical theme
the door knocker’s
an anchor
bangbangbangbangbangbang
and finally the door opens
and it’s the captain
of the captain and tenille
and he’s wearing his captain’s hat
and he’s pissed
because i’m biting into his recording time
hammering on the door
for the next six weeks the captain’s
miserable”

and pat d tells
us about a song for belinda carlisle
of the go/gos
she’s hot and she has
an entourage
a guy romeo with make/up kit
and hairspray at
the ready/steady, close eyes please!
swwwwwoooooooooooshing her hair

“blue period”
the song she never did solo
but agrees to sing
harmonies to
on smithereens 11
and pat d
tells us
he’s sitting on the floor
looking directly at belinda’s
beautiful ass
inches away
and she nails
the song
in
one take
!
“who nails a song in one take?”
belinda with the perfect ass carlisle
does
and she leaves
two minutes and twenty seconds
and that ass
is gone
out the nautical door
into the california desert

and pat d sings the song.

“cigarette”
pat d tells us
the first time
they did that song
he lit a cigarette
and handed it to a fan
and that cigarette smoke/
snakes its way around
the floor level fans
as the song played and just
when the song ended
it was back
the wettest
slime/y
est
cigarette
ever and pat d
took a last drag
from that disgusting
cigarette
and he vowed
(oh those vows pat d!)
to never do that again

he tells us he did that
pass around stunt
another 700 times
over the years

eeewwwwwwwwwwwww

pat d doesn’t smoke anymore
700 soggy wet slimy butt ends
before he quit!

“the house we used to live in”
“my parents got divorced
when i was 21
i’m 53 now
and i’m still not over it”

there’s passion and rage
and longing for mom
and dad
to be together
to be the perfect couple
he’s 53
he’s singing it
like he was 17

“i am tony soprano
prone to murderous rages
he’s a jersey guy
with a crazy mother
are you writing everything down?”
i nod.
“she’ll kill me.”

“my mom went on cleaning binges
vacuuming my hair
on christmas break
i had goldfish
and one day i wake up
after one of her cleaning binges
and the goldfish and tank are gone
‘mom, where’s my fish?’
she says, ‘i don’t know. Let’s
look for them.’
we look in the attic.
in the fucking attic!
we look in the basement.
and then we look out the back porch,
oh…
she put the goldfish tank
outside in the dead of winter
and they froze to death.
my father never defended me.”

and what that means
i don’t know
but he’s traumatized
every song is a story
every story is a song

a melody
born of buddy holly
the day the music died
born of the beatles
of sir paul mccartney

“behind the wall of sleep”

sent chills down my spine

cameron crowe
and the movie singles
“i had nine scenes
dialogue with matt dillon
and bridge fonda

“and when it played
nyc
i was there,
the first showing
at noon
and my ex was there
playing hooky from work
cuz she loved matt dillon
and i’m proud
‘i’m in nine scenes.’

“the movie plays
and
all
my scenes
are
cut

“and my ex says,
‘where are your nine
scenes
big shot?’

“and i had to go for a walk
i’ll never be that big star
making millions
and i’m walking around
and these two guys stop me,
‘dude, you’re pat dinizio
from the smithereens?’
yeah! my chest puffs out
they know me,
a city of millions
and they know me
‘we just came from the movie
singles/
your name’s in the credits,
you’re not in the movie.’

“that’s a true story.”

that’s a pat d
story
and i’m honest
i’m straight
the music lacked fire
he look tired
breathing heavily
after many songs

(and pat d,
you don’t need to eat
the mike and distort
your beautiful voice
stand back
stand the fuck back)

but
your stories
racked
the laughs

paul mccartney
from buddy’s widow,
as paul sat alone
after linda’s passing
“how’s paul?”
“pat, paul’s an asshole.”
buddy’s songs
are her songs
see how that works?
sir paul/

big head big hair skinny english
rock icon
(rod stewart, robert plant)
stories
“hey, i was going bald at 17!”

covers paranoid
covers you’ve got to hide
your love away
covers
don’t fear the reaper
out of his song
blood and roses
and should have ended
the times night on the high
of
slowdown
but the endless struggle
to tune his electric
guitar

death or glory or pat
d story
boys/girls

remember

keep your vows

don’t shit on your fans

cuz my winnipeg’s

stu reid rules!