Feature:

The Revenant of Scurrilous Ephemera

After 15 years in quantum superposition, Scurrilous Ephemera crawls back into the observable universe to check on Dolly, Gloria, Lindsay, Paris, Speidi and Jersey Shore.

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Scurrilous Ephemera: The best song title in the history of music?

Kim Zolciak is “Tardy for the Party,” Pamela Anderson moves into a trailer and Michael Moore discovers the limits of corporate-media hospitality.

By Stephanie MacDonald

Kim Zolciak and Allison DeMarcus at an event in Los Angeles in 2009

Kim Zolciak and Allison DeMarcus in Los Angeles, November 2009. Photo by Keith HInkle/Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 2.0.

Incredibly awesome: Kim Zolciak, a blond person hitherto modestly famous for appearing on the Atlanta version of the furiously soul-destroying Real Housewives of Wherever franchise, despite being neither “real” nor a “housewife,” has managed to mitigate her reality-TV horribleness with a single warbly club song with the best title in the history of music: “Tardy for The Party”. What a refreshing lack of irony! What gritty production values for a dance hit! What a brave refusal to acknowledge mean-spirited and immature snickers pointing out more appropriate song names for this particular singer (tarty for the party, ‘tard-y’ for the party… etc.). Hear for yourself, if you’re enjoying life a bit too much at the moment:

In highbrow Canadian news (full circle edition): Pamela Anderson can’t afford to finish the renovations on her house and is evidently living in a trailer on the property with her two boys.

Epically tragic life-haver and unfortunately rape-y film director Roman Polanski was betrayed and arrested by the duplicitous Swiss on his way to a film festival in his honour. He faces extradition to the US on the charge of unlawful sex with a minor, from which he fled in 1978, a charge which pretty much everyone, including the victim, wants dropped. Coincidentally (but are there any coincidences, really?), Susan Atkins (AKA “Sexy Sadie”), the feral-eyed Manson acolyte who smugly confessed to the vicious murder of Polanski’s young wife Sharon Tate and their unborn child, died in prison of a brain tumour this week.

Michael Moore is getting excellent publicity for his new feature Capitalism: A Love Story without selling out his pinko values to the huge corporate machine. Appearing on a single Good Morning America, the adorably slovenly Moore predictably (and helpfully!) pointed out the high proportion of “permalancers” working at ABC without benefits and thus got himself blacklisted from a myriad of other boring talk show engagements with the network and its affiliates. This has garnered some interesting coverage by other networks, eager to stomp on ABC’s credibility as a news source. So much for objective journalism in a capitalist society! Hey, isn’t that the point of his movie? Calculated machination? Or authentic consequence of an underlying truth? Does it matter?

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