Kathryn McCaughey on NOBRO’s full-length debut, taxes and snake blood.
‘instead of looking at what is happening with our favorite pop culture denizens, let’s look at what they are not doing…’
Dennis Hopper, Jacques Cousteau’s grandson, Heidi Pratt and something special…
Kate Gosselin! Jon Gosselin! Lindsay Lohan! Octomom! Heidi Montag Pratt! All your favourites under one column. Welcome back, SE, we missed you!
After an unreasonably long absence, our SE columnist is back, with news about Sarah Silverman, James Cameron and Linda Hamilton, and Naomi Campbell. What, no Heidi Montag-Pratt?
‘The girl can’t win,’ writes Scurrilous Ephemera reporter Stephanie MacDonald. ‘First she’s horsey, then when she gets a major surgery overhaul she looks like a crazy cyborg created by an alien who once saw a picture of a human in a scrap of a page in Maxim magazine.’
The battle for the film icon’s money. Also – Mischa Barton’s on-set trouble, and the latest semi-celebrity to pose nude for Playboy.
It’s a week when everyone decided to quit everything, except the people who should be quitting. They’re staying. Or something…
‘Twihards, watch out. There are some new weird obsessives out there now waiting to steal your creepy thunder…’
‘… a beautiful, intelligent, misunderstood girl who gets caught up in the glamorous world of punditry, only to be sexually harassed…’
‘Admittedly, children are often annoying, but that is what a Valium and Champagne cocktail is for…’
‘The Lollapaloozas, Birkenstocks-as-regular-footwear (you know who you are), mushrooms and ska bands, Mr. Lifto, Paralyzers, the flowery sundresses with cowboy boots and sexy/messy flannel shirts. Sigh…’
‘Jessica Alba didn’t earn the endearment “MiserAlba” for nothing. She looks borderline homicidal at the best of times…’
‘The harlot of the moment, Rachel Uchitel, is scoring the kind of money-can’t-buy-it publicity that will certainly propel her straight to reality TV stardom, along with Ashley Dupre (Elliott Spitzer’s hooker friend), those obnoxious White House Party Crashers, and Balloon Boy’s Family…’
This week in Scurrilous Ephemera: Brad and Angelina, Spencer Pratt… and ABBA.
‘Monkeys are bad, they are not nice pets, they are most definitely not babies and they want to kill you…’
‘Miss Prejean is repellent for a number of reasons, not the least being that she had rational individuals compelled to come down on the same side of a dispute as Perez Hilton and the Miss California USA company (owned by Donald Trump)…’
‘Lindsay Lohan is back to wrapping her leggings around those in possession of a Y chromosome again these days… And she went about as far into that territory as she could; the starlet was caught smooching the studly/oaf-ish Gerard Butler…’
‘The rational response to all this information, of course, is: “No Way! Playgirl still exists?”‘
